I’ve never seen it, but evidently thousands of people claim to have witnessed a couple out on a date, texting each other “What’re you having?” from across the table. Urban legend or prophesy? I don’t know.
Ron Friedman claims to know, however, that smartphones are making us stupid(er). He wrote an article (whoop tee do). He says that someone figured out that the mere presence of a smartphone causes people to score lower on complex mental exams.
Any parent of any teenager with a phone, smart or otherwise, could have saved that researcher a TON of energy. The mere presence of another teenager in any form, including virtual (on the other end of the phone for instance), leads to an inability to perform any mental task like taking out the garbage or clearing the table.
As for us adults, since at least one of us can rarely handle complex mental tasks – I’m thinking of something on the level of figuring out which playoff game to watch – news about the mere presence of a smartphone making me stupid is welcome.
I now have something besides college binge drinking on which to blame my stupidity on. My wife asks, “Why didn’t you put away all the dishes?”
My NEW strategery in one word not a commercial: “iPhone.” Thank. You. Ron!
And if the task gets more complex: “What do you mean you forgot to walk the dog?”
I haz fancy answerz! “iPhone 5s!”
“You only mowed half the yard?” (True.)
“It’s not my fault. I upgraded my phone last night.”
Just imagine if I get a version 6! I’ll probably walk in front of a bus.
So, what else? Well, a bunch of Brits – a people not know for their effusiveness – report, “the presence of a cell phone also interferes with our ability to form close interpersonal connections.” Here in Texas that means, well, if you take your phone to bed, it may get in the way of, ah, bed things. Leave it on the night stand, cowboy. (Do British people really suffer so?)
This one is important (to me): “Subjects who spoke while a cell phone was in view perceived their partner as less understanding and less trustworthy.” Remember that if the Feds come knocking. Imagine, if the Enron guys had only put away those darn smartphones, they’d have made billions on the shale boom. And, really, if my partner is picking up her f*&(%ing phone instead of paying attention TO ME like she vowed (back before cell phones were smaller than a loaf of bread), I will think less of her. But not much since we’ve been together a long time and it would be really hard for someone else to train me to mow the entire yard.
Well, there’s more. Blah, blah, blah, inability to form memories or something. Fatigue, yawn, don’t care. Inability to distinguish real urgency from
Hell, I gotta go.