Jack’s Buzz

My friend Bob lives in Asia. He posted a great note a few weeks back. He’d rather I not link directly to his post, but I want to publicize the content–it’s good. I need it. Maybe you do too?

I need to take this verse more seriously: Do all things without grumbling or questioning . . . (Philippians 2:14). It is, after all, a command, and it’s from Paul the Apostle, a guy who had more reason than me to gripe. I have a perfect wife, great kids, plenty to eat, a nice place to live, clean water, good health, income. NOTHING to gripe about really. So . . .?

Bob’s post:

There was a man who was fed up with the pressures in his life so he joined a monastery. This monastery strictly demanded that the monks practice the discipline of silence. Novitiate monks were allowed to say only two words each year for three years before taking their final vows. The man thought that this was just what he needed.

After the first year, the superior monk invited him to speak to the other monks in chapel. His two words were, “Bad food!”

After the second year when it was his turn to talk, he grumbled, ”Hard bed!”

When the third year ended and it was time to take the final vows, he said, “I quit!”

The superior monk replied, “Well, I’m not surprised. You have done nothing but complain since you got here.”

I am surprised when my opinions turn out to be just complaining and whining. This is not to say that there are not many things going on in my life that easily justify complaining. Last month this small town boy moved to one of the largest cities in the world—noise and traffic
and heat all stress-generating. Our organization is in the process of a major reorganization that directly affects me and no one from [home office] has called me once to get my opinion. My politics are somewhere right of Genghis Khan, and the present political power in Washington is at the other end of the spectrum. After the financial turmoil of 2008, my 401K is now a 201K. And besides all that, the Dallas Cowboys should have been in the Super Bowl if they weren’t such a bunch of spoiled weenies! Oh, I’ve got lots to complain about all right…but should I?

I don’t think so. Chronic complaining is a sure indication of the attitude of worldliness. It dishonors God, grows in the soil of thanklessness and poisons our joy.

So, how can I keep complaining under control without taking a vow of total silence? When I feel compelled to complain, I should first ask:
· Am I speaking from worldly values or biblical values?
· Is it judgmental or helpful?
· Is it manipulative to get my way or charitable toward others?
· Does is attack a person or solve a problem?
· Is it about me or does it honor God?
· Does it imitate Christ’s indwelling love?
· Is it thankful, joyful, contented, loving, and forgiving?
· Is it necessary?
· Have you read James 3: 1-12 recently? 

I hope they don’t say about me, “You have done nothing but complain since you got here.” Lord, don’t let me become a grumpy monk.
Bob [from Asia]

Here’s my response: 4 Ways to Limit Griping

1. Write down your strengths. Try to think of 10. Reader, humorous, outgoing, studious, analytical, conversational, servant-hearted, strategist, adventurous, stable? What do your friends like about you? Write everything down and don’t fake false humility. You have a lot to offer. Read the list and be thankful for each strength.

2. Write down exactly what’s bugging you. What do you wish would change? Why do you wish that would change? 

3. Evaluate your complaint.  Sometimes a complaint needs verbalizing. How, exactly, will your grumbling get you the help you need? How will it cause the changes you want? How has griping helped in the past? Be very specific–you should be able to list at least 8-10 ways that complaining has strengthened your life and will cause the change you want. Has it made you a better person, gotten you the friends or income you need? I can’t usually think of any either.

4. Write down what you can do about it. What information do you need to make the change? Who can help? What will you do next, and after that, and after that? What end result do you hope to achieve? When will you start (date and time)? Why are you waiting to start? What happens if you do not make the change?

So the Scripture is true again, complaining leads to no good changes in my life. Do all things without grumbling or questioning . . . (Philippians 2:14). Doing, on the other hand . . . be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves (James 1:22). That seems to work wonders.