Jack’s Buzz

Part of my morning was spent checking the Hornets’ position in the NBA standings. While reading ESPN’s NBA standings news, I saw a very clever click through ad. The company, Champion Sportswear, is one I recognize, and they make stuff that I like. The ad said that I could design a hoodie. It showed a series of pictures of very cool, masculine (this descriptor will matter in a minute) hoodies by very hip designers. The ad said that if I designed a particularly cool hoodie, I would win a fat $5,000.

All I needed to do was click the button marked “Start Designing.” I bit. I clicked. I wanted to design something, own it, and wear it. I wanted to win the money. I took the bait. I got the switch.

My click sent me to the company web site with a cover ad for a 2-for-1 sale on sports bras. I do not buy sports bras. If I had to guess, I’d guess that very few of the people in ESPN’s primary demographic buy sports bras.

It gets worse. The site has no mention of the design contest. No banner, no menu item, no photo of cool designer hoodies. Even when I tried to find the design contest on their site by using the search function, I got nothing. No hits on “hoodie” or “design.” Champion pulled a classic bait and switch. They conned me to their web site to sell me something other than that which they offered. 

You may think you will never bait and switch, but Christians and churches do it ALL THE TIME. I was taught how in seminary. To be clear: Jesus NEVER did it, and there is no hint of approval of this absurd practice in the New Testament. According to God, it’s a dumb tactic.

I can think of 4 reasons to NEVER bait and switch. 

1. You waste my trust. Unless they’re at a magic show, people hate to feel they’ve been tricked. If you tell your neighbors that you’re throwing a BBQ in your backyard and then turn it into a Billy Graham Crusade, they will not appreciate you. If you tell a co-worker that you’ll pray with her for her sick mom, then spend the entire break reading her the Four Spiritual Laws, she will not trust you with her time. If you promise to take your kid to eat ice cream, then stop by the doctor’s office for a shot first, she may think twice about next year’s Mother’s Day gift.

If you promote your organization’s “openness and family atmosphere,” then make the financial decisions behind closed doors, your employees will think you mean “we’re like the mafia family.” If you imply that your group values a person’s thoughts, emotions, and insights, then provide no avenue for them to express their thoughts, emotions, and insights, you are a Western church with a Sunday morning service (oops, how did that get out?). If you tell me I can come to your place to do something fun, then hide it from me, I’m gone. Maybe forever.

2. You waste my friendship. I will tell my real and virtual friends what you did. I’m telling you now, am I not? I remember a college marketing (or maybe psychology?) professor teaching a class that the average person tells ten people about his or her very positive or very negative experiences, and five people about his or her mildly positive or negative experience. Average experiences get no publicity, I guess. He was wrong.

If a student really likes a class, he tells ten friends? Nope. He tells 100. If he sleeps during the class because his teacher worked overtime to make an interesting subject boring, he will tell ten friends? Nope. He will tell 1,000. I think my professor was right in 1980 and dead wrong in 2009. Facebook, email, blogging, twitter; all take old social axioms to exponential heights.

I read every story about fantastic or awful service. I know Nordstrom’s loves its customers, and Lakeview Harbor’s stuffed shrimp special was disappointing. (If a status report is funny, I remember it even more clearly.) I know that Mobile, AL has terrible traffic control and crime is a hobby in New Orleans. I know that Orlando has few jobs and Austin has great live music (and few jobs, but more than Orlando). I know that Bonobos pants fit and look great, Gran Torino is a moving film, and Chicago is too cold for people.

Brother, you bait and switch me or one of my friends and we will spread it. You waste my friendship and I’ll do what I can to make sure you do not hurt my real friends.

3. You waste sharp, creative, grade-A people. Somewhere in the bowels of Champion Sportswear is a person who created a great ad and a fun contest. She or he will find out soon that the ad was used in a bait and switch campaign.

It may be because of a web site glitch. Perhaps things just did not work well before they were launched. Perhaps no one was malicious or intended to b&s me. It will not matter one bit–that highly creative person will wonder why she or he is working for Champion. More than likely, they will find a new opportunity and Champion will be left with the C students. 

Your church acts unloving; your whole city knows within a few hours. Your most creative members will leave when they think their talent is wasted. Your company treats employees like dirt; your other employees start polishing their resumes (and the best ones usually leave first).

4. You waste money. Champion wasted whatever they paid for that ad. Click through ads charge by the click. I clicked, they paid, but I did not buy. That’s a waste.

You plan your event to help people find your service (or your Savior). You invite. You clean. You cook. Whatever; you put in some effort. Then you waste it if you do not do exactly what you said you would do.

If you take my class, I will increase your skills. I will not sell you irrelevant concepts. I will not put you to sleep. I will not waste your time. If you come to my party, we will enjoy each other’s company. I will not sell you Amway products. 

Simple cure: lead an open and honest life. Never bait and switch.