Jack’s Buzz

I know why G.E. is selling off their appliance business. Their appliances break down a lot. I know this as a universal fact irrespective of any particular knowledge I may have as a G.E. appliance owner. How do I know this remarkable fact with such certainty? I know it because G.E. leaked the secret to me and millions of others driving behind one of their repair vans.

This morning at a red light, I looked through “I did not get enough coffee” fog, and noticed the van in front of me. I was on my way to jury duty…again…and in need of a laugh. There it was. A brand new, G.E. repair van with the following slogan written across the back doors in red lettering:

This truck makes frequent stops.

I followed the guy for three blocks to get a picture. I was late to jury duty, laughing all the way. I entertained half the jury pool with my photo.

Everyone–mind you we’d all been coached in ‘reasonable doubt’ thinking–everyone agreed that the most likely reason why a G.E. appliance repair truck needs to make frequent stops is to frequently repair G.E. appliances. The ones that break down…frequently. What else could it be? Do they deliver mail? No. Do their driver’s need to go potty often? Not likely. Do they ‘brake for kitties’? Doubt it.

So what was the real reason for such a terrible slogan on a repair truck? Simple, someone thought their slogan would help give G.E. customers a warm fuzzy because G.E. drivers care about kids or dogs, or don’t want me to tailgate them. Wrong! What they forgot is that the American public are not complete idiots (even though we do care more about what happens to David Archuleta than the War on Terror) did not think about what their words would really say.

When the church landscaping is brown, the sign is faded or missing letters, the paint on the building is peeling, or the parking lot stripes are long bleached by the sun, that church tells potential visitors, “We do not care!” When the sermon is plagiarized or lacks depth, the music is karaoke, or the prayers are rote, the speakers, singers, or pray-ers tell God, “I don’t care!”

Wonder what God says back? What do visitors say? The say, “Bye!” Why not take a moment and ask them? G.E. probably wishes they had. So does some poor sap who once had a job writing slogans for repair trucks and now sits at home, surfing monster.com.